The AI era had a predictable storyline:
Invest fast. Announce louder. Measure later.
Now it’s later.
And suddenly, the board’s favorite question isn’t
“What can AI do?”
It’s “What did we actually get?”
Sounds crazy?
The KPI problem: we measured vibes
A lot of AI “success” reporting sounds like this:
- number of prompts written
- number of pilots launched
- time saved (estimated by someone who loves optimism)
But ROI isn’t a motivational poster.
It’s either:
- cost reduced
- revenue increased
- time saved in a real workflow
- risk reduced with documented impact
If finance can’t tie AI spend to one of those, the board won’t either.
The chatbot twist: it became a salesperson
The most common AI deliverable is the chatbot — and too often it’s “helpful” in the same way a pop-up ad is helpful.
You ask about a refund. It offers an upgrade.
You ask for support. It gives you a product brochure.
When AI is optimized for conversion instead of resolution, you might get short-term revenue — and long-term resentment.
Congratulations. You didn’t build intelligence.
You built a very polite upsell machine.
The future nobody pitched: AI audits the humans
Here’s the dystopian punchline:
AI may finally deliver ROI…
by auditing us.
- scoring meetings for “decision density”
- flagging organizational bloat
- recommending which approval layers quietly disappear
That’s not the future we asked for — but it is what happens when AI is treated as a cost-cutting shortcut instead of a value-creation system.
What executives should actually ask
If you want ROI without the hangover, start here:
- Which workflows are we improving — specifically?
- What’s the operational cost when AI is wrong?
- Who owns the outcome metric?
- What did we stop doing because of AI?
- Are we building trust — or just output?
Why this isn’t just satire
Behind the humor, the AI ROI question is very real.
Multiple reports already show that while companies are spending aggressively on AI, measurable productivity gains remain uneven.
McKinsey has found that most organizations still struggle to translate AI pilots into real business impact. Gartner has warned that generative AI is moving past peak hype into a painful phase of expectation resets.
In other words, the math is catching up with the marketing.
If this trend continues, the most profitable AI product by 2030 may not be a model at all — it’ll be an algorithm that automatically explains to the board why the ROI slide is still “coming next quarter.”
Sources
- McKinsey — Beyond the hype: Unlocking value from the AI revolution https://www.mckinsey.com/cn/our-insights/our-insights/beyond-the-hype-unlocking-value-from-the-ai-revolution
- Gartner — Generative AI and the Peak of Inflated Expectations https://www.gartner.com/en/newsroom/press-releases/2023-08-16-gartner-places-generative-ai-on-the-peak-of-inflated-expectations-on-the-2023-hype-cycle-for-emerging-technologies
👉 Full version (with deeper satire + executive takeaway) is on LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/we-spent-billions-aiwheres-roi-roman-marshanski-wxilc/
Am I wrong about any of this? What do you think?
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